Scene 1 – Set 9 (Mike and Jenny's Kitchen) – Song #11; Song #12
It's early evening. Dinner has been served to the children. Mike is not yet home, again. The children are fussing. REBECCA and MATTHEW don’t like what’s for dinner. JENNY is still in her attire from work. There are several bags of groceries on the counter and a basket of laundry on the floor to her left. Jenny is on the phone as she washes dishes. She is speaking with a “soccer mom.”
JENNY
How about this? I’ll take the boys to practice. Then I’ll go over to (Dance Studio), pick up the girls from dance, and bring them here. You go to the field for seven and pick up the boys. Drop Matthew at karate, then come here to get Sara.
Pause. The kids are fussing over their food in the background while Jenny is speaking on the phone.
MATTHEW
Mom. Do we really have to eat this?
Jenny holds up a finger as if to say “please wait for a minute.”
JENNY
No problem. Sara can eat with us.
REBECCA
This stuff is terrible.
JENNY
Fine. See you tomorrow.
Jenny hangs up the phone and turns to the kids, a bit frazzled.
Stop fussing and eat your vegetables.
MATTHEW
But we don’t like them.
REBECCA
I feel sick.
JENNY
There are children in other countries who are starving as we speak.
REBECCA
Don’t bother sending them this stuff?
The phone rings.
MATTHEW
Good one Bec.
Matthew and Rebecca give each other a “high five.” The phone rings again.
JENNY
That’s not funny. Eat your dinner!
Jenny picks up the phone.
Quiet! Hello? Oh, hi Sharon.
REBECCA
Why do we have to eat carrots?
Jenny holds up her hand to the children as if to say “quiet.”
JENNY
No, she has a sleep over Friday night, but Saturday is good.
MATTHEW
Why don’t grown-ups serve food that kids like?
JENNY
After six.
REBECCA
Yeah. Adults should eat “adult food,” and kids should eat “kids food.”
Rebecca waives her arms, acting as if she has just been struck with a revelation.
JENNY
That’s fine. Thanks.
Jenny hangs up the phone and turns to the kids.
REBECCA
Mom, we want kids food.
JENNY
Tell that to your father. He’ll be home soon.
The phone rings again. Jenny turns to answer it, even more frazzled than before. We don't hear Jenny answer the phone because the spotlight is on Rebecca who stands up and takes a posture that mimics her father, pointing a waiving finger as if about to lecture. Then, in a low stern voice…
REBECCA
Eat your vegetables or go to bed.
Jenny, while covering the phone, turns to the kids.
JENNY
It’s dad.
Jenny turns back around to speak in private. Matthew turns to Rebecca and speaks with a subdued voice, yet with enthusiasm.
MATTHEW
Yes! We’ve got a few more minutes to work on mom.
Rebecca gives Matthew a look of concurrence. Then Matthew chants.
We want kids’ food.
REBECCA
Peanut butter and jelly please!
Jenny turns back toward the children so the audience can hear her speak.
JENNY
The kids are acting up, I haven’t changed yet, I’ve got dinner on the stove, groceries on the counter, laundry to put away, I’m tired, there’s not enough time in the day, and you’re late. Otherwise I’m doing just fine.
Rebecca and Matthew begin a quiet chant of “We want kids food.” Jenny holds up her hand to the children in response to the chanting. The light fades on Jenny as she remains on the phone. Song #11 – “Kids Food” – begins. Rebecca and Matthew get up from their chairs, and play to the audience.
REBECCA / MATTHEW
Peter Pan and Welch’s Jam are what kids like to eat.
No one likes liver, beets and cream of wheats.
Beer and wine and turpentine all taste the same to us.
Give us kids food and we’ll never make any fuss.
MATTHEW
Momma says the rabbit eats the carrots for his eyes.
REBECCA
We cannot understand how a rabbit can be wise.
MATTHEW
Daddy says to eat 'em all or we will go to bed.
REBECCA
We thank him as we run upstairs. We’d rather sleep instead.
REBECCA & MATTHEW
Peter Pan and Welch’s Jam are what kids like to eat.
No one likes liver, beets and cream of wheats.
Beer and wine and turpentine all taste the same to us.
Give us kids food and we’ll never make any fuss.
REBECCA
Momma served asparagus and I thought I would croak.
The quiche that she made made me shake, cough and choke.
MATTHEW
My little sister got the hiccups and began to cry.
She wammied on the table, right in the kidney pie.
REBECCA & MATTHEW
Peter Pan and Welch’s Jam are what kids like to eat.
No one likes liver, beets and cream of wheats.
Beer and wine and turpentine all taste the same to us.
Give us kids food and we’ll never make any fuss.
Give us kids food and we’ll never make any fuss.
The lights go down on the children and up on Jenny just as she hangs up the phone and returns her full attention to the dishes.
JENNY
Here. Let me help you finish before dad gets home.
Jenny puts a dish into the sink and turns to the table. In doing so, she accidentally knocks over a pot of sauce into the laundry basket. She lets out a cry of dismay.
Oh no!
MATTHEW
Is that the clean stuff?
JENNY
It was.
REBECCA
I’m sorry mom.
JENNY
Just finish your dinner… and go clean up your room. And make sure your homework is done. And bring me your planner… and lunch box for tomorrow.
Jenny holds her head. The music starts to Song #12 – “It’s A Crazy Day.” The lights fade on the children as Jenny walks past them toward the audience.
My kids don’t like what I cooked tonight.
My husband is late once again.
Seems nothing I do ever turns out right.
Will this craziness ever end?
It’s a crazy day. Crazy every way.
It’s another crazy day.
It’s a crazy day. My nerves are frayed.
It’s another crazy day.
The alarm goes off. The race begins.
It seems I’m always running just behind.
I gave up long ago trying to win.
I just don’t want to lose my mind.
It’s a crazy day. Crazy every way.
It’s another crazy day.
It’s a crazy day. I need a break.
It’s another crazy day.
Driving 'em here, there and everywhere.
I’m a cabbie overworked and underpaid.
Lawn, bills, work all day, then groceries.
When I come home I’m everybody’s maid.
It’s a crazy day. Crazy every way.
It’s another crazy day.
It’s a crazy day. All work, no play.
It’s another crazy day.
I miss those lazy days
when I had time for me.
Like checking out the butterflies
from a hammock 'neath the trees.
I remember candlelight
and love under the moon,
and the wherewithal to fly away
to a crystal blue lagoon…
with my dream come true.
Matthew and Rebecca are fussing in the background.
REBECCA
“Mom, he’s hitting me.”
JENNY
It’s a crazy day. Crazy every way.
It’s another crazy day.
It’s a crazy day. I need to get away.
It’s another crazy day.
Jenny grabs her hair with both hands as she sings the last line of the song.
It’s another crazy day.
Music fades. Lights fade to black. End of Scene 1, ACT II.