Grand Open
Extravaganza
Author's Notes 
Audition Notes
Fifteen minutes before the show begins, an overture plays while patrons shuffle about and take their seats. The overture is comprised of snippets of melodies from the songs that occur throughout “It's Not About Love.”
Note: Start Overture and let it play at least the first few melodies (3-4 minutes) to set the mood. If you choose not to listen to the entire overture at this time, pause it before reading the directions to maximize comprehension.
Scene GO – Set 1 (Empty Set) – Song #1
At the end of the overture, the lights dim and the music winds down to a low monotone.
Note: Song #1 (below) begins with that monotone. The directions you read next will prepare you for when the monotone begins.
The curtain opens revealing a dark stage. Individual spots appear on YOUNG GIRL and YOUNG BOY who are standing about 15 feet apart on either side of center stage. From the view of the audience, YOUNG GIRL is on the left side of center; YOUNG BOY is on the right.
YOUNG BOY and YOUNG GIRL are facing the audience and each is admiring the toy figurine they are holding. YOUNG GIRL is holding a Barbie-like doll. YOUNG BOY is holding a knight in armor. YOUNG BOY and YOUNG GIRL articulate the figurines slowly so the audience can discern what they are holding and admiring. After 10 seconds, the monotone bends up two half-steps.
From the wings on either side of the stage, spots illuminate 12 MEDIA REPRESENTATIVES (6 on either side) as they enter in single file in front of YOUNG BOY and YOUNG GIRL toward the center of the stage. These characters, by way of costume, represent the various clichés that shape our beliefs with regard to love and marriage. Meanwhile, a montage of lyrics that depict the most notable clichés regarding love and marriage can be heard above the monotone.
MEDIA REPRESENTATIVES form a figure-8 around YOUNG GIRL and YOUNG BOY. If you are the director, the following instructions explain how this is done.
Note: If you are reading while the Overture is playing, click the “Pause Overture” button (below) so the Overture does not play simultaneously with Song #1.
Note: Visualize the scene as per the directions above and Play Song #1. Read the directions below while it is playing. The monotone should not distract you.
As MEDIA REPRESENTATIVES walk around YOUNG BOY and YOUNG GIRL, YOUNG BOY and YOUNG GIRL turn slowly like tops. The monotone bends up 2 half-steps wherein a montage of voices depicting clichés about love and marriage begins. The intended effect is to demonstrate how the various media indoctrinates our children, causing them to embrace and harbor false notions about love and marriage.
The background music eventually bends up another 2 half-steps and the music to Song #1 – “It's Not About Love” begins. Simultaneously:
1) Lights go out on MEDIA REPRESENTATIVES. They and YOUNG GIRL and YOUNG BOY make haste to back of stage, disappearing into black.
2) JENNY emerges from the back marching with conviction to the front of the stage. She is holding the same figurine as YOUNG GIRL.
JENNY
Fairy tales in books and movies.
Cards and songs and soaps on TV.
The message is the same from all of the above.
They raised me to believe it's all about love.
MIKE marches from the back of the stage. He emerges from the shadows into the light holding the same figurine as YOUNG BOY.
MIKE
Princess rescued by a brave knight
Taught me men are to make things right.
And build picket fences. Be what they're dreaming of.
They raised me to believe it's all about love.
The lights go up on the entire stage in steps to the beat of the lead-in to the chorus. The lights are fully up at the start of the chorus. HEART spins a disk of the world and the rest of MEDIA REPRESENTATIVES interact much like a “square dance.”
EVERYONE
Love makes the world go round and round.
That's what they say.
Find true love. Say the vows.
Then count your happy days.
It's all about love. It's all about love.
Instrumental for one verse. During instrumental, CUPID shoots arrows into the air. Other MEDIA REPRESENTATIVES dance around Jenny and Mike. One swings a large cardboard pocket watch in front of Jenny to the rhythm of the song. Another swings a large inflatable plastic hammer, pounding Mike on the head to the beat of the music.
It's all about love. It's all about love.
Love makes the world go round and round.
That's what they say.
Find true love. Say the vows.
Then count your happy days.
It's all about love.
MOTHER and DAUGHTER move to the front of the stage. MOTHER holds up a one and a half foot by three foot sign with the numbers 1, 2 and 3 written on it in bold. MOTHER points to each number as appropriate when she sings her lines. The lights on the stage dim and spots highlight MOTHER and then DAUGHTER as appropriate.
MOTHER
The formula for marriage is as simple as one – two – three.
First you meet, then fall in love, and then you marry.
As DAUGHTER says her next line, she places her hands over her heart and turns to the audience.
DAUGHTER
And live happily ever after.
MOTHER and DAUGHTER move backwards as the lights step up to the beat of the lead-in to the chorus. The lights are fully up at the start of the chorus. HEART spins a disk of the world and the rest of MEDIA REPRESENTATIVES interact much like a “square dance.”
EVERYONE
Love makes the world go round and round.
That's what they say.
Find true love. Say the vows.
Then count your happy days.
It's all about love. It's all about love.
Love, love, love. It's all about love.
The actors move to the center of the stage during the second to last line. They turn to the audience and sing the final line of the song – some are standing, others are kneeling, still others are squatting. During the last line of the song, at the last second, a player from either side slides on their knees to join the group at center stage. As they sing, all stretch out one hand up and away from the group and shake it as if they are trembling in appeal to the audience.
All you need is love.
After a brief pause, the melody of the song “It's All About Love” begins again as a reprise and continues to the opening of the next scene. The lights go out. Curtain closes. End of Grand Open. ACT I begins.