It's Not About Love – Main Menu

X

Author, Lyricist and Composer:

Don Magyar

Editor and Consultant:

Kirk Martin

Produced by:

“Foundation To Empower Marriage” (FEM)

Inspired and Guided by Humanology®

(the science of understanding human nature)

© 1997-2016, Don Magyar

(407) 761-4734

don@prosg.com

MagyarMusic.com

Humanology.com

EmpowerMarriage.com

X

Musical Play


Scene 4 – Set 5 (Mike’s Club “HATS”) – Song #5; Song #6

Curtain opens. The club “HATS” is fully operational but it is closing time. Everyone leaves except for MIKE and a woman who is sitting at the bar. Her name is BONNIE. They dated before Mike met Jenny. Mike has remained friendly with Bonnie who stops in to visit from time to time. Mike is always cordial, but he is not interested in renewing their relationship because he and Jenny have been dating exclusively for some time.

BONNIE

So Mike, what are we doing tonight?

MIKE

I’m going over Jenny’s, and you’re going home.

BONNIE

You know what I mean.

MIKE

Look Bonnie, it’s not easy to resist you, but, as I’ve told you for over a year now, I have a good thing going with Jenny. I don’t want to mess it up.

Pause. Bonnie, coyly looking at Mike, reluctantly gathers her purse. She is not accustomed to having to work so hard.

BONNIE

I envy her. You’re one of the great catches in a sea of jerks. I hope you don’t hold it against me for trying.

MIKE

I’m flattered.

BONNIE

Just remember. When things get rough, you can always call me.

Mike mulls over her response.

MIKE

What makes you so sure Jenny and I will have some rough times? Are you psychic?

BONNIE

Just hopeful.

MIKE

At my expense. Go home Bonnie. I’ll take care of your tab if you leave the cancer sticks. Deal?

Bonnie reluctantly nods in the affirmative. Mike picks up her pack of cigarettes and tosses it into the garbage.

Say hi to your folks for me.

BONNIE

I will. And thanks.

Bonnie smiles. Mike smiles back and waves goodbye. The place is now empty but for Mike. Mike picks up a couple of hats including a cowboy hat off of the bar. He steps onto the stage and puts all but the cowboy hat back on the wall. He hesitates, ponders for a moment, and then becomes inspired. He puts the cowboy hat on his head and reaches for his guitar that is propped up on the stage. He plunks it and the music to the next song begins. Song #5 – “This Thing They Call Love” – begins.

MIKE

Wishing on stars. Dreaming 'bout love.

Trying to make a deal with someone up above.

Made me smile at this thing they call love.

Holding hands. Making plans for good.

Why they've got to cry? I never understood.

Made me smile at this thing they call love.

Love, love, love.

Love, love, love.

Stealing hearts. Singing “Dream Come True.”

Scoffing at the thought of meeting someone new.

Made me smile at this thing they call love.

Staring long into each other's eyes.

Why would they want to? I could only surmise.

Made me smile at this thing they call love.

Love, love, love.

Love, love, love.

Then one day I met a girl.

She took me by surprise into another world.

I always smiled. Said, “Love is not for me.”

But I'm smiling now that I'm so happy.

Wishing on stars. Dreaming 'bout love.

I know now what they’re dreaming of.

Makes me smile at this thing they call love.

Love, love, love.

Love, love, love.

Love, love, love.

The music fades. Mike’s friends TOM and STEVE enter. They are finishing a conversation they had began before entering the club. Steve is laughing at some remark Tom just made. Steve sees Mike and says…

STEVE

Bonnie’s looking good … as usual.

MIKE

So?

STEVE

So? There was a time when you wouldn’t have let her get away wrinkle free. You’re obviously slowing down.

MIKE

I am not. I’m just not interested.

Steve and Tom are not convinced.

Come on. I put some sandwiches on ice.

The boys exit through the door to the kitchen in order to get the food that was prepared and stored for them. JENNY and RONNIE enter the club unannounced. Jenny is about to call out and make their presence known when they overhear the boys talking about women in the kitchen.

STEVE

Face it. You’re slowing down.

MIKE

I am not.

STEVE

Then it’s worse than I thought. You’re whipped.

Ronnie, being naturally mischievous, pulls Jenny by her arm. Jenny looks at Ronnie with surprise as if to question what it is she is doing. Ronnie puts her finger to her lips and nose, indicating Jenny should be quiet as she pulls Jenny behind the partition that leads to the bathrooms. Jenny smiles and, together, they playfully eavesdrop on the boys. The boys re-enter through the kitchen door, each with a plate of food.

MIKE

You’re crazy. Jenny and I have a casual, open relationship. I can see who I want, when I want.

STEVE

Sure you can. Tom, he’s in love.

MIKE

Like heck I am. Tom?

TOM

Mike, Steve’s got a point. You haven’t shot pool or gone out with us in over a month. Seems to me that… well… you’re whipped.

STEVE

Admit it. Jenny’s got a hold of the ring through your nose. She runs your life now. We might as well write your epitaph.

Steve looks up and waves his hand as if laying out a giant banner. He speaks slowly.

The great and legendary Michael. Whipped!

MIKE

I don’t believe it. What do I have to do to prove to you guys that I’m the captain of my ship?

Mike puts a finger to his chest.

I’m the captain.

Mike puts out his thumb as if hitchhiking.

Jenny’s the crew.

STEVE

You sound like that bus driver from that TV show. What’s his name?

Steve looks to Tom for help.

TOM

Ralph Kramden – king of the castle.

Steve laughs.

STEVE

Yeah, that’s right.

Steve smugly looks to Mike for a response as if he is one up on him. Jenny looks over at Ronnie. She’s not a bit amused. Ronnie gives Jenny the “I’m sorry look.”

MIKE

Go ahead. Have fun, but you guys are dead wrong. Jen and I aren’t even serious. If anything, Jen is more into the relationship than me.

Steve can hardly control himself. He looks at Tom in astonishment.

STEVE

Tom, do you believe this guy?

TOM

You’re with Jenny just for fun and the convenience?

Jenny is mortified.

MIKE

That’s about the size of it.

STEVE

Oh for Heaven's sake. Next you’ll want us to believe she's a love-crazed maniac who chases YOU when you get together.

MIKE

As a matter of fact, she does.

STEVE

Oh. I get it.

Tom is laughing quietly. He’s having fun watching Steve and Mike debate. Tom realizes the truth has long been lost in the battle for male pride. Steve also knows Mike is exaggerating and he gets an idea. Motioning to Tom…

Tom, check this out.

Steve runs over to the hat wall, grabs a wig that looks like Jenny’s hair, and puts it on. Steve then pulls a screwdriver from his tool belt and begins removing the pins in the door's hinges, making it ready to fall. As Steve is working on the door,…

MIKE

What are you doing to my door?

Steve is inside the kitchen now, speaking through the door.

STEVE

Relax. I installed it. Remember? I'll put it back when I'm done.

Short pause.

Hey Tom. This is what it’s like at Mike's house when Jen's over. You play Mike. I'll be Jen.

The music starts to Song #6 – “Chasing Me.” Tom sings. The opening lines of the song are sung with little accompaniment in order for the audience to hear the lyrics clearly and understand what is taking place.

As Mike sings the words “bang, bang, bang,” Steve lets the door fall forward and hit the floor. Steve steps through the door by the third line in the song. He stands still with a wild look on his face. He has his arms stretched out and looks like a crazed maniac. Meantime, Mike and Tom are laughing at Steve's antics. Mike allows his friends Tom and Steve to play and make fun of him and his girlfriend.

MIKE

There’s a bang, bang, bang.

The door falls in.

Arms stretched out with a hungry grin.

She lets out a scream like an elephant mating call.

Tom points to Steve. Steve lets out an ungodly screech. Then Steve points to Tom as if directing him to do his part.

I run behind the table in the corner of the room.

Tom runs between the end of the bar and the wall it abuts.

She leaps. I duck and not a bit too soon.

Steve jumps onto the bar and grabs the sides of the bar top. He pulls himself along the bar top on a sliding tray unseen by the audience. As Steve slides toward Tom, Tom ducks down. Steve slides over Tom and his head penetrates through the serving opening in the wall.

She slides across the table and puts her head through the wall.

Steve kicks his feet as if he were a cartoon character, then pulls his head out of the opening, gets off of the bar top, shakes his head as if to gather his wits, resets his wig, and starts to chase Tom all around the stage, occasionally pulling at Tom’s clothes.

Chasing me this way and that around the room.

Trying to get a hold of me.

Tearing at my clothes whenever she can.

Lord won’t you show her how to have mercy?

By the end of the chorus, the boys have run into the kitchen. Steve and Tom temporarily remain in the kitchen, presumably still running around.

Like a horror movie I run for my life.

Tom reenters the stage alone through the open kitchen doorway and picks up the door off of the floor and pretends to reset it on its hinges.

I’d rather live with Dracula than take her for my wife.

Tom grabs a chair from the nearest table and slides it against the kitchen door.

Yet she swears that she will marry me. So I run.

Tom snaps the tablecloth off of the table from which he just took the chair, and slips under it as he lays down on the stage.

I lock the door behind me and I WEDGE it with a chair.

I crawl under the covers to sleep off the scare.

Steve climbs through the coat room closet window.

But late at night she climbs in through my window.

Tom gets up showing fright, and the chase continues as before.

Chasing me this way and that around the room.

Trying to get a hold of me.

During the chase, Mike slides the chair back under the table. Steve and Tom run off stage again through the kitchen door to the left.

Tearing at my clothes whenever she can.

Lord won’t you show her how to have mercy.

Tom reenters the stage through the left kitchen door once again. He slides the same chair against the door and slides under the tablecloth that is still lying on the stage.

I wake up with a startle, wet full of sweat.

Tom sits up as if startled, and begins to scratch his head as if in deep analysis.

I scratch my head and wonder at the terror that I met.

I pray it was a dream when the banging starts again and guess what.

The banging starts again – three bangs – to the rhythm of the song, the door falls to the floor, and Steve chases Tom again around the stage.

Chasing me this way and that around the room.

Trying to get a hold of me.

Tearing at my clothes whenever she can.

Lord won’t you show her how to have mercy?

Jenny and Ronnie come forward out of hiding, making their presence known. The music stops with “laughing horns” as Mike discovers Jenny is watching the show. She claps her hands slowly as if she is not amused. As Jenny claps her hands, Tom and Steve sheepishly hide behind Mike.

JENNY

Nice show fellas.

MIKE

Jen. How long have you been there?

The following remark is a reference to the movie “Goonies.”

JENNY

Long enough Mikey, long enough.

STEVE

Go ahead Mikey. Tell her you’re the captain of your ship.

TOM

Yeah Ralphy Boy. Remember, you're the king of the castle.

Mike steps forward, turns around to look at Tom and Steve, and points to the front door for the boys to exit the club, just like Ralph Cramden did when he was annoyed with Ed Norton on the Honeymooners. The boys exit quickly with an apologetic tone as they walk by Jenny.

STEVE & TOM

Hey Jen.

Tom is first as he reaches the front door. He hesitates at the door and turns to Steve.

TOM

He’s a dead man.

Tom and Steve exit through the front door.

MIKE

Jen, let me explain.

Ronnie excuses herself without saying a word, tiptoeing as if trying to go unnoticed.

Good. Now there’s just you and me.

JENNY

No Mike. Now there’s just you.

Jenny turns and exits through the front door. Mike sits down on the stage and lays back as if he is devastated. The lights go down. The curtains close. End of Scene 4, ACT I.

Top Next Scene


The ramifications of understanding human nature are many. The Patriot Party® is an emerging political party that endorses the application of Gravity Theory and the Bidirectional System as the way to resolve America's social, financial and political problems.

Patriot Party Radio broadcasts the Patriot Party® message.

Spring-Gravity Theory® is a marketing group that applies the teachings of Humanology® in crafting marketing plans and advertising campaigns for the largest companies and nation-states worldwide.

Spring-Gravity Theory® is the result of a breakthrough in understanding human nature.

That breakthrough is featured on the Humanology® website. More and more organizations are adopting the knowledge offered by Humanology®.

Foundation to Empower Marriage is a non-profit organization dedicated to educate high school seniors on how emotions work and how to use that knowledge to form and maintain successful long term personal relationships including marriage.

It's Not About Love is a musical written for high school and college students. It reveals the secret to success in romance and fulfillment in marriage. It's message is based on the knowledge and discoveries of Humanology®.

School Is Cool is a not-for-profit corporation that works with the major sports associations in elevating the value of education in the minds of our children.

Fittest Form® is a program that helps people achieve their best physical and mental state. Idea Songs is a group of songwriters that applies Humanology® in crafting songs, with an eye on making the most impact and maximizing audience appeal.

Professional Songwriter Group is an association of lyricists and composers that study human nature and incorporate that knowledge into their musical works, making their products more impactful on the listening public.

Back On Top Music is a publisher of music that works only with authors who understand and incorporate what we now know about human nature.

Magyar Music is a music act that incorporates Humanology® when crafting its songs.

The author of Humanology®, Don Magyar, can be contacted directly by going to his website.

His books are individually titled and can stand alone, yet they are part of the Humanology® series, published by Permanent Publications.